Good night. She opens her eyes and roars. Dragon looks back at Donkey after him and Shrek climb off of her back. FIONA: Well, eat up. Don't look down. She screams and lands on a sack of flour, launching a cloud of flour into the air. Oh, man, I can't feel my toes! Donkey, unable to grab on, falls off but Shrek catches him by the tail. I could feel it. No one must ever know. Dragon gently caresses Donkey with a single claw. Walking through a field at sunset. The Three Bears (minus Mama Bear) sit around the fire, the Pied Piper is playing his pipe and the rats are all running to him, some elves are directing flight traffic so that the fairies and witches can landetc. Shrek lets go of the chain and the chandelier falls onto her head, which acts as a collar around her neck. I mean, after all, you did rescue me. I guess I am just a big, stupidugly ogre. Shrek and Fiona cross the bridge connecting the tallest tower to the rest of the castle. Really. (sigh) When I was a little girl, a witch cast a spell on me. But she had an enchantment upon her of a fearful sort which could only be broken by love's first kiss. DONKEY: Do you have a tissue or something? For a moment they stare into each other's eyes. Shrek fiddles with the door handle, unable to open it. Fiona walks off, seemingly in a better mood than yesterday. SHREK: Ah, that's not very nice (Looks at Donkey and then back at Farquaad). Shrek, I'm gonna die. Donkey sniffs the eggs and licks his lips. I love it! DONKEY: It is, around your half. Is that about right? No one answers. Fiona's voice is heard although she isn't moving her lips. Fiona is still awake, plucking at petals from the sunflower. The remaining guards let go of Shrek and Fiona, backing away. I would'st look upon the face of my rescuer. The whole congregation laughs. FARQUAAD: Outrageous! SHREK: Okay, fine. But you can become one. The trees and grass are neatly cut and the rows of houses all looked exactly the same. (They come over a hill overlooking Shrek's home.) FIONA: Well --yes, actually! I mean we really should get to know each other first, you know, as friends or maybe even pen pals. What's he like? Finally all the knights are down. I'm too young for you to die! I put up signs. Shrek sits down on the steps of the windmill and faces Fiona. ), FARQUAAD: I've tried to be fair to you creatures. . I don't have time for this. Donkey turns his head back to raise his eyebrow, and then looks away again. Hey, what are you doing? Fiona smacks Shrek on the back of the head and screams in frustration. FARQUAAD: (he picks up the Gingy's severed legs and plays with them) Run, run, run, as fast as you can. Shrek is walking towards the windmill with a sunflower in his hand, talking to himself. With Shrek? Shrek puts his entire hand over Fiona's face, stopping her in her tracks. All right, ogre. She was talkin' aboutuhsomebody else. DONKEY: Hey, what's that? (laughs). DONKEY: (sniffs) Ohh! Together we'll scare the spit out of anybody that crosses us. Have you ever met a person, you say, "Let's get some parfait," they say, "Hell no, I don't like no parfait"? Shrek crashes through the roof of the tallest tower and into Fiona's room. Shrek and Donkey gaze out into the crater. He jumps on it just as Dragon tries to bite them and slides down it. Who knows where this "Farquaad" guy is? This is the transcript for the 2001 film, Shrek. You may remove your helmet, good Sir Knight. DONKEY: I dunno, Shrek. Fiona points downwards at a small arrow jutting out of Shrek's behind. Fiona quickly rips the arrow out of Shrek's butt with one great pull. No! Oh, good Lord. Donkey and Shrek turn to each other and burst out laughing. This is all wrong. You know what else? (walks towards the castle). After a brief silence, Shrek comes up of the outhouse. and set down in front of her. Like you said, "Who could love a hideous, ugly beast?". then I ate some rotten berries. The guards shout out different numbers while Farquaad frantically tries to decide. See?! SHREK: You've had a lot of time to plan this, haven't you? Don't get all slobbery. Shrek picks Fiona up and slings her over his shoulder like a bag of potatoes. I've mastered the stairs. It's a compliment. Why don't you just go ask her? DONKEY: (looks all the way up at Shrek) Uhreally tall? Shrek hops over a set of ropes that appears to make up a wrestling ring. DONKEY: Aww, that's beautiful. FIONA: Excuse me. (He dodges out the way of a group of witches flying on broomsticks). FIONA: Okay. That'll do. He does. FIONA: Lord Farquaad, I accept. (laughs). Cut it out! Listen, you was really, really, really somethin' back here. You cut me real deep just now. Donkey is frozen with fear, unable to tell who the figure is. DONKEY: Hey. It's preposterous! The dragon leans forward and gazes at Donkey, revealing its long eyelashes and lipsticked mouth. FIONA: Put me down, or you will suffer the consequences! She was locked away in a castle guarded by a terrible fire-breathing dragon. The dragon knocks down portions of the bridge until Donkey is left staying on a lone pillar. You are ugly. Shrek steps back in shock, misunderstanding the conversation's meaning. The guards either run away or step back. Donkey looks suspiciously over at the large pile of firewood already piled up. Pastebin is a website where you can store text online for a set period of time. FIONA: Well, can I at least know the name of my champion? FIONA: But there's.robbers in the woods. Shrek sighs. FARQUAAD: (To himself) Two? (setting down Donkey and Fiona) I'll take care of the dragon. This was not Shrek's intention. VILLAGER 1: Back! Her hobbies include cooking and cleaning for her two evil sisters. DONKEY: You want me to read you a bedtime story? Guard 3: Give me that! He gets sprinkled with fairy dust and starts floating upwards. There's something I want Fiona looks around for Shrek only to see Donkey sleeping. You can tell Lord Farquaad that if he wants to rescue me properly, I'll be waiting for him right here. It's not like it has feelings. Go on this quest for me, and I'll give you your swamp back. Donkey looks at Shrek with a new eye. FARQUAAD: Then what are you waiting for? I'm the stair master. This is the transcript for the 2001 film, Shrek . The chain swings back and he is left dangling above her. I give you our champion! Oh, how rude. I helped rescue the princess. Fairy tale creatures are put in chains and led into wagons by Duloc Guards. Don't look down. They'll make a suit from your freshly peeled skin Shrek slowly approaches as the villagers back away in fear. Fiona pulls her arm from Shrek's grip. Fiona stands with her arm on Shrek's, but Donkey butts in-between them. "Wanted. Shrek takes the mug and smashes the spigot off the large barrel of beer behind him. Farquaad gestures to the man with the prompter card holds up a card that says 'Laugh'. by . Dark clouds block out the blue sky above them. He clears his throat and the table is lowered. Fiona hits a high, horrible note that causes the bird to explode. SHREK: (holds up a mug of beer) Can't we just settle this over a pint? I like an honest fight and a saucy little maid MERRYMEN: What he's basically saying is he likes to get MONSIEUR HOOD: Paid! Suddenly an accordion begins to play and the Merrymen pop out from the bushes. Do you know what that thing can do to you? Donkey wanders off in the opposite direction, still talking to himself, and pushes his way through a giant set of doors. Who'd want to live in place like that? That's 20 pieces of silver for the witch. SHREK Not fast enough. That's my personal tail. Shrek looks back at the laughing crowd and then down at the floor, dejected. Shrek brings the knight over to Donkey, who leans on the ropes and headbutts the knight. His smile is only met with annoyance, which confuses him. Shrek and Donkey exchange looks. She throws a twig at him as they both laugh, letting go of their balloons. The beer comes rushing out, knocking the knights down and wetting the ground into mud. Donkey whistles loudly, and Shrek looks up to see Dragon flying overhead. Look, I'm an animal, and I got instincts. dropping the poster to the ground. Three! Fiona gives Hood a one-handed push and jams her finger into his chest. MONSIEUR HOOD: When a beauty's with a beast it makes me awfully mad! Shrek laughs as the men drop their torches and pitchforks and run away as fast they can. Your welcome is officially worn out! Geppetto takes the money and walks off. FIONA: No, no, it's perfect. I know that. Cut to a storybook that reads "And they lived ugly ever afterTHE END". I swear! Suddenly from out of nowhere, a man swings down and swoops Fiona away. A sonnet! Shrek challenges Fiona, Donkey, Puss in Boots and the others to spend the night in Lord Farquaad's haunted castle telling scary stories. SHREK: Maybe you can come visit me in the swamp sometime. The mascot runs into a wall and knocks himself out. DONKEY: You know what? FIONA: Sure. Fiona demonstrates her martial arts skills and easily defeats up every last Merryman. DONKEY: Yeah, I know. SHREK&&1&SCRIPT& 2& MAN&1& Whoa.Holdon.Doyouknowwhatthatthingcandotoyou? (Donkey stays silent). DONKEY: Oh! A group of birds drapes a cloak made of flowers around Shrek's shoulders, much to his annoyance. 3. Fiona stares at her wedding cake, pushing down a figure of Farquaad to show his actual height. SHREK: Hey, come on. For emotional support. SHREK: There it is, princess. Using himself as a screen, the Magic Mirror reveals three shadowy portraits of princesses. Perched on a rock pinnacle, it was surrounded by a terrifying lake of molten lava. You're amazing. Fiona screams as Shrek suddenly smashes the door down with his shoulder, still holding onto her arm. SHREK: Oh, no. I live alone! I mean, it's late. Now--. Turn your head and cough! SHREK: Yeah, well, maybe you're right, princess. With a dragon that breathes fire and eats knights and breathes fire. The guests party and dance as Donkey takes over singing the song. Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground. "Shrek" was widely praised by critics and went on to . FIONA: "By night one way, by day another." DONKEY: All right! That's the last thing on my mind. One of her legs flies out and kicks Tinkerbell out of Peter Pan's hands, and her cage drops on Donkey's head. Shrek: Just with each other. Look, I ain't never seen you like this before. This one's full. (continues to bounce and sway as he backs Donkey across the bridge). SHREK: Okay, you two, head for the exit! Mama Bear is now a taxidermized rug. FARQUAAD: (stepping forward) That's enough. FIONA: You're -- you're wonderful. Fiona screams in terror as Dragon flies over the boiling lava to get them. DONKEY: So, uh, are there any donkeys up there? SHREK: You're crazy. She breathes a sigh of relief. What are youno! I'll get you out of there! I'm-- I'm worried about Donkey. She looks down and spots the sunflower left by the door. This doesn't seem to deter his interest. SHREK: Yeah, my swamp! The book opens and a voice begins reading its text: SHREK: Once upon a time there was a lovely princess. Shrek lets out a loud belch. Do you know the muffin man? The Duloc Knights draw their weapons and slowly approach Shrek as he backs up, the crowd cheering them on. DONKEY: Man, you almost burned the hair outta my nose, just like the time(Shrek covers his mouth but Donkey continues to talk, so Shrek removes his hand.) How do you let her down real easy so her feelings aren't hurt, but you don't get burned to a crisp and eaten? Take it and go before I change my mind. Shrek is sitting at the dinner table when he hears a sound outside. DONKEY: Shrek, what are you doing? Shrek sits on the hill and gazes out at Duloc until nightfall. Shrek grabs Donkey in one arm and then grabs Princess Fiona, who has wandered into the room, with the other arm as he runs past her. THE CAPTAIN: By the order of Lord Farquaad, I am authorized to place you both under arrest and(Shrek slowly approaches the group of guards, the guards visibly frightened by him) transport you to a designatedresettlementfacility? SHREK: (Picking up pieces of armor) The princess will be up the stairs in the highest room in the tallest tower. You'll beg for death to save you! Incredible! Shrek runs for the cathedral doors but Donkey hurries to get in his way. I didn't know you wrote poetry. Ogres have layers! I was talkin' to you. MONSIEUR HOOD: I steal from the rich and give to the needy. Shrek (Script) Lyrics SHREK Written by William Steig & Ted Elliott SHREK Once upon a time there was a lovely princess. Hidden in the shadows of the cave, Fiona's eyes were sympathetic. This way! SHREK: Listen, little donkey. I'm makin' waffles. She likes sushi and hot tubbing anytime! Shrek catches up with Donkey and Fiona, who are waiting near the exit. I didn't invite them. (he throws away the onion and walks off). [Gasping] Shrek: [Laughs] [Laughing] And stay out! Hapaya! OLD WOMAN: No, no! And that's when you say, "I object!". Donkey opens the door to the windmill and steps in. There's no our. Farquaad snaps his fingers and is lifted onto his horse by his guard. It's disgusting! SHREK: No, no! All right then. I'm so sorry. DONKEY: You know, I do too. I-It's very late. When we met, I didn't think you was just a big, stupid, ugly ogre. (Advancing toward her) I'm a delivery boy. SHREK: Yeah, it's getting him to shut up that's the trick. Where are the others?! Well, that's good for ten shillings, if you can prove it. Donkey makes ready to run over and pull the lever again but Shrek quickly grabs him by the tail. Attention allfairy tale things. Fiona initially looks happily surprised to see him, but quickly becomes upset. Fiona and Farquaad are leaning in to kiss, but are interrupted when Shrek bursts through the doors. If you don't mind me sayin', if that don't work, your breath certainly will get the job done, 'cause you definitely need some Tic Tacs or something, 'cause your breath stinks! Shrek suddenly lets go of the branch, tripping Donkey over, and he walks away. What is this? They both shrug at each other. He sees that a horde of fairytale creatures have set up camp in his swamp. A hideous creature! The audience goes wild. The mirror shows a portrait of Princess Fiona leaning on the window of her tower. Gasps are heard all around. You were saying? The exit's over there! SHREK: Now, ogres, oh they're much worse. DONKEY: Go ahead, have some fun. I'm notnot emotionally ready for a commitment of, uh, this, uh - - "magnitude" really is the word I'm looking for. BISHOP: People of Duloc, we gather here today to bear witness to the union. Fiona glances nervously at the window, noticing the sun slowly dropping toward the horizon. (Grabs Gorder, but he escapes and lands on his shoulder. I mean, of course you're a girl dragon. The Gingerbread Man has been mended somewhat and now has one leg and walks with a candy cane cane. One? What are you doing? DONKEY: Parfaits may be the most delicious thing on the whole damn planet. They was trippin' over themselves like babes in the woods. GORDER: (bouncing on a slug) What a lovely bed. Although she lives with seven other men, she's not easy. FARQUAAD: I will have order! Shrek points to her last piece of food. (breaks the broom in half). DONKEY: Oh, my God! Donkey looks confused, the joke is once again lost on him. Here's what we know. Please! I'm still afraid of the dark. It is fucking amazing he does some rest I supposed, but he doesn't go down one bit, and he screams really really loud. DONKEY: Princess? SHREK: Oh, hey! -I'm not a puppet. The three continue their journey back to Duloc though the woods. Ha, ha! SHREK: That! (his nose grows). 2. Shrek now has the Big Bad Wolf by the collar and is dragging him to the front door. Get him! SHREK: Yeah. Dragon smiles, and nods, and takes off towards the town streets. Back there. No! A ray of light shines down on a leather-bound storybook. Me! The passages are littered with bones, armor, and weapons, presumably belonging to the many unsuccessful knights who tried to rescue the princess. Out steps SHREK, an ogre, who tugs at his underwear and shakes his foot of the page still stuck to his shoe. SHREK: They'll shave your liver. FARQUAAD: Really, it's rude enough being alive when no one wants you, but showing up uninvited to a wedding Shrek initially seems taken aback by Lord Farquaad's harsh comment, but he quickly brushes it off and turns his attention towards Fiona. Let's just back up a little and take this one step at a time. Now my patience has reached its end! FARQUAAD: Okay, okay, uh number three! -Get up! SHREK: Yeah, sorry, lady. FIONA: But this isn't right! Shrek, now disguised as a knight in shining armor walks off further into the castle. SHREK: Are you talkin' to(he turns around and Donkey is gone) me? Fiona and Farquaad are standing at the altar as the priest conducts the ceremony. Farquaad doesn't listen to the mirror at all, too busy formulating a plan. They thought they was all of that. Fiona walks out of the cave and glances at Shrek and Donkey who are still sleeping. FIONA: Uh, you know, I'll make you some tea. Can I tell you that you that you was great back there? He huffed and he puffed and hesigned an eviction notice. FIONA: I guess I'll be dining a little differently tomorrow night. Stop it, both of you. Can you forgive me? Oh, pick me! DONKEY: I just know before this is over, I'm gonna need a whole lot of serious therapy. How about that? GreatGingerBread 3 yr. ago. She closes the door. DONKEY: (still aimed at her stomach) Listen, keep breathing! I wish I had a step right here. Well, you know what I like about you, Shrek? I'll cook all kind of stuff for you. The two slowly lean towards each other. No one likes a kiss ass. DONKEY: I don't even wanna hear it. Fiona catches a snake, blows into its mouth, fashions it into a balloon animal and presents it to Shrek. She lays back down and pretends to be asleep, clutching the bouquet to her breast. SHREK: Men of Farquaad's stature are inshort supply. SHREK: Yes, well, actually, that would be a giant. Post author By ; Post date how to find total revenue on a graph; neighbourhood liverpool dress code . DONKEY: But that's it. Farquaad pulls out a dagger and holds it to Fiona's throat. DONKEY: But, you know, umyou're kind of an ogre. Just the word parfait makes me start slobbering. shrek script no spaces . I'm here till Thursday. She points her arm to her left and Shrek turns around. Oh! Blue flower, red thorns. The bee, of course, flies anyway. They judge me before they even know me. Come on, baby. In a field, Shrek swats away at a swarm of flies following him. DONKEY: --a girl dragon! The dragon pauses, looks at him inquisitively, and then smiles. japanese kids landscape minimal mortal mouth muppet natural nerd nice night nose octopus original outer space parody patterned people pet pink plant popular rainbow romantic . You get it? As he is let into the room by two guards, we can see that the man is abnormally short. DONKEY: Let me get this straight. FARQUAAD: I'll have you locked back in that tower for the rest of your days! FIONA: Stop it. That was amazing! Havin' a good time, are ya? A limerick? No! the lovers elliot oracle; sad drawings easy step by step SHREK: It's quiet. DONKEY: Well, yeah! I saw this flower and thought of you because it's pretty and-- well, I don't really like it but I thought you might like it 'cause you're pretty. FIONA: I need to find somewhere to camp-now! He rushes down the tower's staircase with Fiona in tow and grabs a torch. (The pixie dust's effects begin to wear off) Uh-oh. The Captain tucks tail and runs off. VILLAGER 3: Yeah, it'll grind your bones for its bread. SHREK: That'll do, Donkey. The dragon now focuses its attention on Donkey, breathing fire at him and forcing him onto a stone bridge. Left behind on the horse is a large set of gauntlets and a pair of leg extenders that reached down to the stirrups, which made him look so tall on the saddle. Man those guards! Donkey looks nervous, but Shrek and Fiona give him reassuring looks. (laughs). I just-- I just --. I can't breathe. A large amount of guards run in and grab ahold of Shrek and Fiona. FIONA: Well then why didn't he come rescue me? FARQUAAD: PrincessFionashe's perfect. No! DONKEY: Oh y'know I'd, I'd really love to stay, but -- (Dragon tugs at Donkey's tail with her mouth). DONKEY: Man, I like you. SHREK: There he is, and there's the group of hunters running away from his stench. Donkey, who tugs at his underwear and shakes his foot of the,! Pan 's hands, and he is left dangling above her windmill and steps in: me. Fiona hits a high, horrible note that causes the bird to explode shrek crashes through the roof of castle... Jumps on it just as dragon tries to decide by a terrible fire-breathing dragon stands with her arm to breast... Was great back there to you creatures again but shrek quickly grabs by! 'Laugh ' be a giant set of doors the Gingerbread man has been mended and... 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