You're still dealing with other unresolved feelings. I obviously want to be friends or at least civil and still hang out but I 100% want him back cause were happy together. Its my own insecurity I know but I needed something to make me feel like I negotiated something, that we would take it seriously and value each others feelings. Are Dumpers Afraid To Contact Their Dumpees? I dated a girl for 6 months. But since last call, I have not responded to her guilty free checks: hi how are you? And sorry for the length. Before your ex-boyfriend has had a chance to move on, he may want to be friends with you to keep you on his radar. I wasnt looking for a relationship but he swept me off my feet and for the first 3-4 months things were wonderful. Would he really be happy if I am with the other guy? I initiated no contact, and I was started to feel better. Many exes have found themselves back together because they . When he offers you that friendship months down the road after the breakup, put your guard up. If you have a partner, think of them as well. So, I let him back in. Consider for a moment the stories you hear online like this, Where a couple goes from friends to lovers., The one common theme you see in those stories is the fact that it took time before one person was ready to date.. He will not provide you with the same amount of attention as before when you were in a relationship. He apologised and asked me to be friends. You deserve more. Since your ex isnt interested in being a couple, its highly likely he or she doesnt want to be your friend either. If you have several common friends and you both are invariably going to bump into one another, consider discussion of remaining friends and informing your circle. Becoming friends with you can work as a stopgap or a quick fix to satiate their desire for attention until they find someone else. You want to be his treasure, NOT his toy; so stop hitting him up. Your ex wants to be with you after a breakup: The reason why your ex has asked you to be friends with them is that they want to be with you after a breakup. When he feels the need to speak to you, he will contact you. Since shes an ex, she doesnt need nor want you around anymore. Hey there, so if you still want your ex back then you need to follow the program starting with a No Contact. Because youve dedicated so much time to this person, and you feel uneasy towards him or her, you believe the friendship you were offered is a steal. Which in I dont to be honest. If you were always friends and were only lovers for a short time, you may consider being friends with your ex. I helped her a lot to solve her problems, i dont mind because I feel complete when helping others but I believe she was scared I leave her at some point so she decided to leave me instead. She had told me that she was in therapy now, she wasnt thinking about school anymore, and seasonal depression had gotten to her. I met my ex through a mutual friend. I told him I still had feelings for him and he said he had feelings after sleeping together but that he doesnt want anything more. At many times she is there with her male friends and puts things on social media it makes me very insecure and during all this time I always feel the need to talk to her or I expect her to explain to me what she feels about me, but she never opens up which leaves me in an even worse situation. I discuss why at great length in my Audio Seminars on How To Get Back With An Ex If You Still Live Together and also in the Audio Product on Getting Back Together After A Short Term Relationship. If you have made the first contact after the break up but he hasn't responded with even a rejection then it can be highly frustrating. After her masters degree in Commerce, she acquired a PG Diploma in Communication and Journalism from Mumbai University. October 6, 2021 by Zan. We would talk every day and I felt like we had a good connection. Theres nothing you can do right now that will make her see your worth. This is not the case, but if you are thinking about going back into a relationship with an ex then be cautious as there may be some pitfalls to . But unfortunately we crossed paths again somehow. When it comes to needs, its a complete lack of balance between you and your ex. What does it mean when your ex wants to be friends? They want to keep communicating with you and later might develop this friendship into a relationship. He will have to make sure whether your strength is real and discern where that source originates from. He said he still wants to be friends. Ex Wife who cheated wants to be friends 1yr after we divorced. Your ex feels it was a rash decision and wants to work things out by taking the first step through friendship. About a month ago I felt like something was distant between us but we still texted everyday and spent weekends together. All rights reserved. Me and my ex having been dating for 6 years. How Does The Dumper Feel After A Month Of No Contact? Im talking about people that have children together and therefore need to communicate whos going to do what for the kids, or people that share real estate, pets etc. When your ex wants to be friends with you, it doesnt necessarily mean he wants more than just friendship with you. Let me unpack these three insights for you. When I pitched the idea of getting back he said he cant just leave the girl he is with because she hasnt done anything wrong to him. Not tying up loose ends is another super common sign that your ex still loves you and probably still cares. You can consider the following points and factors before making a choice. She knocked me down so hard, it was the first girl I was ever really intimidate with, Im a virgin (not religious reasons, I just want it to matter to me), and maybe allowing her back in would be letting her finish me off? Moreover, you maybe dont understand why it has to be platonic between you. So in the end. My anxiety was crazy, she was liking my FB posts, so I decided to send her a text, apologizing for my mistakes. I did not understand how could he suggest that. Who knows, you might even be one of the special friends on the guest list at their wedding. Thats far from it. He made a comment that this girl shares some qualities he liked in his wife which may be why he ended up with his wife In the first place. However, that did not happen, and now they are left stranded. In the heat of the moment, we all say things that we don't mean or regret later. What should I do? Twice on his part and once on mine. You best mind your manners, Sutton. I feel loads better, healthier and happier, now hes text!! Or just cut contact with no explanation? As long as everything is fine and dandy, exes are not going to be concerned about their past behavior. They want to see . She told me her reasons. This was all right before things went silent. There are of course certain situations in which its not easy to cut all contact and no longer be in touch. Perhaps the best part about all of this is that everything Im going to talk about today has been backed up by research or my own personal experience helping couples after a breakup. What do I do?! For some people when a relationship ends it means that its over and that youre not supposed to keep seeing each other and be in touch for months or years to come. I have been dating a guy for about a month and everything seemed to be going really well. I was upset when he suggested and told him off. 1. He texted me the morning after the breakup and seemed genuinely concerned about me and he seemed genuinely sad too. He showed a lot of concern for me over several things and even gave me a gun so I could protect myself and made a comment about how it was too bad I wasnt closer to him and talked about if I sold my house I maybe would move to the city he was in. Does your ex want to be friends with you after a breakup? Because I dont want to lose him to her. Its usually the hard, painful way. I did talk to him 5 days ago about his cat and along with that I asked him if he was inclined to reconsider the outcome of things and if he wanted to talk about it and he said not really. You can save face by mimicking your exs actions. I told him that if he wants to be friends, he will have to be the one to reach out to me. It makes it easier when you bump into each other. Things such as sending invitations and messages in a demanding way which would surely put him or her off. As I said before, taking action when you are in the most vulnerable position is a big mistake. But three days ago he sent me a message saying he had been seeing someone else (since before we met) and he wanted to give a go at starting a relationship with them. Security. Each time you have a conversation with your ex you need to take a look at this scale and slowly move up it until you get to the sharing feelings bit. You are not playing any games with this person. Save. He says he felt like the spark is gone and he didnt like the clingy thing and I agreed with him about the clingy thing. As long as you arent getting used and you arent sleeping together I have seen certain exes successfully remain friends. We ended with half a phone call. It made my confidence and grew my anxiety and insecurities about the fate of our relationship and deep bond. I want to be able to communicate. Put it this way, if after one year, you are not seeing a progress in the relationship, it is probably time for you to move on. By reaching out, they determine whether their ex hates them, likes them, loves them, respects them, or feels neutral about them. We talked about how the relationship ended, why she contacted me to begin with, and she asked if we could speak about a possible round 2 because she felt we were unexplored. Consider for a moment the types of conversations you have with the different people in your life. . She even organised my last birthday party. I did my best and man it felt good joking with her and seeing her smile again. The best way for them to increase their karma is to talk to their ex the person they have hurt in the past, and steal his/her forgiveness. Guilt Can Drive You Towards Being Friends with Your Ex. To dumpers, its incredibly empowering, and one of the reasons why exes come back into our lives. He said couldnt we be friends until I met someone else. It however messed with my head, she sounded sad talking to me. If you want . Now is the time however to be strong, to follow your dreams and listen to your heart. I am so angry but our daughters have missed their mother. One of the biggest reasons that exes see one another again is that they have to get things back from each other. She offered me We can still hang out and have fun. Even attempted to cheat right before he broke up with me. Of course remember the good times, but the bad times don't reminisce on. Dear Linda, My Ex wants to be friends again. You have to be careful with the friend zone so I suggest a coaching session. What do you think? Then he contacted me. This is quite an extraordinary example though and doubt the majority will be ignored for this long. I stupidly used the opportunity to express my emotions yelling at him with curses before hanging up which was something I would never do in front of my child as I hate him seeing me in pain. 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